lolaae

2011-03-20T00:19:00.000-05:00

I have been sitting in my room since the beginning of this week, and I have not gone anywhere or done anything beside going to the movies with my mom.

The movie was awesome. We went to a free screening of Jane Eyre. I love spending time with my mom, because we don't get to spend time with each other a lot. Well, I like spending time with my mom regardless of whether she works or not. But anyway, the movie was really good. My mom, though, we weren't even in the show room and she was beginning to get upset at this one person. Then when we got to our seats she got mad at the person sitting next to me. But during the movie she kept her cool. :) My mom is always a laugh when we do go out.

Other than that, I have done nothing. Well, I have done some other stuff, but I'm tired of typing. But I usually only make posts because I love to type. I think I like the way my hands glides over the keyboard. Right now, I'm watching Jersey Shore. I have noticed that 1, I LOVE VINNY! Vinny is just so sweet and kind and the most respectful person in the house. And then I also realize that Pauly D is also like that. He is the only one who doesn't hit on anyone in the house. Which is good, because he doesn't get into fights or anything else. He is also the hottest one there. He is ALSO very funny. I like Ronnie too. The Situation is just an asshole. That is the only word I can use to describe him.

Ive been watching Jersey Shore and skins us for the past few nights and they haven't failed me. Except for the fact that i have homework due when I get back from Spring Break. URGGGG! But yeah, gotta get on that. But i have to do it during commercials, cause I cant miss anything from this Jersey Shore Marathon. haha

Goodnight everybody,
lola

Repetition.

2011-03-15T16:35:00.001-05:00

ReThe gist of all of my posts are probably all the same. They usually have somewhere about me not doing anything with my life. Or maybe that is all in my head. Whatever. This week is Spring Break I have nothing to do besides clickity-clack on my computer all day. I think the only exciting thing I do on my computer is talk to complete strangers on omgele. How lame is that? Another thing, I HATE FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF. I know everyone does it one time or another but when I do it it is always so repetitive. I hate that.

Yesterday, my younger cousins slept over. I think that was the first time in ages that I have been outside. We continued to dig a hole that we had started on probably a year ago and we have finally come to a consensus on what we are going to do with it. We are going to make that hole a time capsule. You know, it's where you put a bunch of things of yours for people to find it in the future or whatever. But then we took a break and my cousin suggested that we make 'Green Stew'.

About two years ago, whenever I got bored, I would go outside with my scissors and cut up some grass. I put the grass in my dog's food bowl and added water and you would squeeze the grass to make it gooey. That was my green stew. I would eventually throw it in the grass when I went inside though.

But yeah. I kind of realized that 1, I need to go outside more often and 2, I need to grow up.

Well, that was enough ranting for today, I think. so..... bye.

-

I found this amazing song a few weeks ago called, "Big Jet Plane" by Angus & Julia Stone. I ♥ that song. It's a really sweet song.

oh, hello there

2011-03-09T15:05:00.000-06:00

for about a week now, I've been sick. it first started out as a sore throat and my voice would go in and out like a boy starting puberty. but then my nose became congested and now I'm coughing harshly and having to blow my nose every other minute. because of this cold, i have missed three days so far this week, today being Wednesday. so tomorrow i will be able to go to school. i actually wanted to go to school today, but oddly, i feel worse than i did yesterday. so yeah.

this entire time, i have either been sleep, watching television, or on tumblr. mostly, tumblr. i know that when i go back i will have many things to do. i have to take two big tests in one day, then do whatever my other classes need me to do. i still haven't cleaned my room which has been a personal assignment since before i got sick.

today, one of the people i follow on tumblr gave me the link to their personal blog and i have been reading from the beginning and i have come to realize that everything thing that i think people wouldn't understand about me has been put into words in her blog. i still have many pages of her blog to read but i think that i want to start another blog sort of like that. i already have this blog but i think this one is more into detail with my casual life. on hers, she doesn't mention any names or anything. she just posts her thoughts. i also have a livejournal, but that is way detailed about very personal things. so yeah, another blog it is.

rn I'm watching courage the cowardly dog a.k.a the scariest show on the air. i know that it is a children's show but nonetheless very scary. it's so scary to me that if i were to watch it in pitch black darkness, i would shit my self a thousand times, no joke. i don't even like watching it in the light. haha.

well, I'm going to go, so....

bye.

i love you

2011-02-19T00:07:00.001-06:00

i hate you.
you have taken everything i love from me. you have left me, ignored and alone. How do you feel? You don't, You don't care and you don't listen. I care. I listen. I know if i were gone, would you care? would you ever wonder if you caused my absence? would you apologize and beg me to take what was once mine? No, you wouldn't. I know.

i hate you.
you take my pride for your own selfish pleasure. Attention isn't something you should aspire for. I wish you would learn. I wish you would learn that no one cares for your evil opinions. Years from now, who will remember what you said about me? No one, Not me. I have the fortunate gift to know who everyone is, inside that is. I realize why you do it. I realize that you are no better than I am. I realize that you are the ground I walk, spit, and drag on. You should learn. I have.

I hate you.
must you change your opinion, view, about me so quickly? I know about your irritation. I know that once you are irritated, anyone who passes by is an immediate enemy. I know of this. Though I am no different from any other person, I am not the one to be irritated at. I would think that after how good I have been to you, you would recognize me and know not to do wrong to me. Recognize me. Please.

i hate you.
you thirst for attention just like them. you are not yourself. change now. for me. for everyone who loved you before you became a monster. you bitch. you asshole. you uncaring, unfeeling, wretch. stupid. thats what you are. change.

i love you.
when i cannot balance my feelings, in any mood i am in, you uplift me. your smile, your goofy smile is what makes me happy. without you i would not be able to function. you may not share the sort of friendship i have with you, but i hope that you will at least know. you seem impenetrable to any threat of criticism. you may hide your feelings behind your cloak of pure happiness, but i have to applaud you for hiding it well. i wish we were closer as friends and not as people who talk to each other when one is lonely. you have to understand that you are the bestest (if bestest were a word) friend i have ever known. thank you. never change, you don't need to learn. you know enough about me. you truly know what friendship is.

∞

sorry, today has been a loadful for me. is loadful a word? anyway, that little thing up there is something i wrote while i was very upset today. it may not make sense, but believe me when i tell you, every little thing upset me today.

Note: I am very hypocritical.

but yeah. i was very happy for this day to end, or at least my day at school. i couldn't wait to get home. and by the way, every different part is a different person. the one that i said i loved, was my friend Mikee. shes a girl. and also, i am straight. somewhere when i was typing, i realized that it may have sounded a little...gay. but im not. lol.

i am really tired and my mother is making a birthday cake for a man who is going to turn 55 on saturday. we dont even like him. but he is my cousins grandfather, so yeah. we still hate his guts, well, i do. i told my mom to put something like a sedative in the cake so he would pass out or something and we wouldn't have to hear his mouth. but yeah, goodnight,

-lola

completely fucked

2011-02-06T19:37:00.000-06:00

So today is the Superbowl and I'm and so ready for it to end. My uncle is having a Superbowl party and he invited us (the family) and some of his friends. Well, my aunt's cousin just came over from Houston and he brought his handy dandy DJ scratch table thingy. It seems that no matter what happens in the game, his music is still so fucking loud. So right now I'm in my cousin's room. She has a friend over so I'm like really lonely. not that i care, but oh well. what bothers me most is how some people cant tell when someone just doesn't want to be bothered.

I've been on tumblr since i woke up this morning and there is absolutely no activity besides hate on my dashboard. I've entered a lot of contests this week, that i know i will never win, but at least i try. anyway, i have to go to school tomorrow and i have like three assignments that i haven't finished. i haven't gone to school since last Monday because of all the snow so i have had much time to work on two of them (i lost what i needed to do one). so if my mom finds out, I'm completely fucked. Ive been on the computer non-stop. if she finds out, ill get whooped and my computer will get taken away. the only possible good thing about this situation is that she works on on each week day except Wednesday. so if my teachers decide to reach her by phone they will have no way. but then again, they all have her email! FUCK!!!!!

i apologize for the swearing. anyway, i have nothing else going for me. so I'm going to end this post with the hopes that by some lucky chance, things go my way for a change, despite the fact that i could have prevented them from ever happening in the first place.

bye,
lola

powerful stuff

2011-01-28T19:11:00.000-06:00

hello internet.

i have been doing well. what about you? well, that's wonderful. I'm in a very strange mood right now. there are a lot of different things going through my head at one time, but i have learned to tune them out with a really good song. that song just happens to be Powerful Stuff by Sean Hayes. its the song on the Subaru commercial where they are at the reunion. I'm really feeling this song. i just finished watching my favorite movie, The Incredibles, on Disney channel.

my folks are being a bunch of pricks, but i have i have also learned to tune them out with just about anything. sometimes, its kinda funny how much i don't care about anything the say. that actually goes for about anyone i really want to listen to.

lately, i noticed that this blog isn't really as personal as i would like it to be. its seems too polished. i am not polished. so this blog might change, well the content maybe. anyway, i have a few things to work on but i don't really feel like working on them right now. so yeah.

oh, the other day my mom and i went to best buy and there is like an apple area where there was a bunch of macs. at first i was on the macbook pro then i merged to the biggest desktop computer i have ever seen, the imac. i think that was the best day of my entire life. lol.

well, I'm going to find more songs to put on my ipod. bye,

lola.

the little things

2011-01-23T16:39:00.000-06:00

I know I haven't been posting in forever, but then again you have to remember that I am really lazy. Anyway, nothing in my life is every really important anyway. So you aren't missing out on anything. Lately, I have been trying and failing to find out what I want to do with my life. Maybe after I graduate high school I'll know. But for now, I'm much open to anything that I might have a chance at being good at.

Later on, I'm going to put some music on my ipod. I do it every weekend, though it's sorta hard to find music that I like. I just kinda force myself to like it a bit by listening to it all day then I end up liking it a little bit more.

I mostly find music that I like from movies. Rarely, i watch MTV and find some other songs. So yeah.

Yesterday, I finished this book called Catching Fire. It's the second book in the Hunger Games trilogy. We had to read Hunger Games for class but I ended up liking it a lot. I don't thing i have ever been interested in a book that much. I'm not much of a reader, so I was really happy for myself. its the little things that control me.

Well, I'm gonna go download some songs to my ipod. bye.

-lola

i am pathetic.

2011-01-09T01:17:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I feel my life is meaningless. Like now, i have nothing to do and no one to do it with. I do nothing anyway. I am the lamest person I know and I wallow in self pity all of the time. I don't go out and I am ashamed of everything. To me, it matters what people think of me. I want to follow trends and do what everyone one else is doing. I am lazy and I procrastinate so that my grades are really low when they could be as high as they can be. I play too much. I wait for things to happen for or to me. I depend on others for everything. I try to act all innocent, but it doesn't work. I lie. I always tell myself that I am going to do something but I "never have the time to do it". I sleep all day and waste most of my day on the computer. I don't try my hardest to do anything. I spend way to much time trying to be someone I am not. I am extremely jealous of every girl I have ever known. I don't give, unless it benefits me. I don't do things because I think I'll fail. I blame anything i can to get me out of a situation. I just sit and watch if something goes wrong. i over think about everything. I do things thinking that someone will be there to see it and talk about it with others. I hide what is inside of me so that people will accept me. I have not learned to let go. I use lack of money as an excuse. I try to make myself seem interesting so that people will like me.

the only place i love to be in is my dreams, and even in those, I am someone I am not, but wish I was.

i am pathetic.

opps. i did it again.

2010-12-27T18:52:00.000-06:00

It seems no matter what amount of effort I put forward to do something that I want to do, it always ends up being a useless effort. And for that I am sorry that I have not been posting in a while (two days). I really do mean to post often, but the laziness in me takes over most of the time.

This week I think I will be going to a funeral. I have never actually been to a funeral, so yeah. My great-grandfather died and it has been a very tragic event in the family. There are to be many stories told soon.

In other news, I will be going back to school next week and I have two assignments due shortly after we arrive from winter break. I am not exactly prepared for both of them, but if I work on them right now, I won't be able to stress about getting them done the day before it is due. That is my usual routine, sadly.

My photo blog on tumblr is doing okay but with only about 9 followers. I would really like to have more followers and be "tumblr famous" but unfortunately I don't think that will be happening soon. Other than what I have here, nothing else has really been going on lately.

ciao, lola

not very festive

2010-12-24T23:14:00.001-06:00

Well, overall today has been a boring day. Not that this day was more boring than the other 364 days of the year, because a good percent of my day, everyday, is boring. Anyway, I didn't do much today. As soon as I woke up, I was invited to have breakfast at the Waffle House with my aunt, her baby, her mom, her mother-in-law, and her mother-in-law's daughter. It was kind of hard to fit all of us in one booth, but we managed. I had, for the first time, eaten an entire waffle from that place. Usually, I only eat half, but I guess today I was hungry.

After, she dropped me off at home I went straight to the computer and did the same thing I have been doing for the past week - nothing. So yep. Later on, my mother came home from work and we started to watch television but she turned it off and now I am in my room typing, obviously.

We were supposed to be going to a Christmas party, but for one, it was raining, and two, me and my mom have agreed that the feeling of Christmas has officially gone away. We both don't have that Christmas spirit that everyone else in the world seems to have. When I was younger, my mom had felt the Christmas spirit but now that I am older and have almost everything that I want (or need), it has silently fluttered away. I don't seem to be the same person I was this time last year.

That seems to be all of the things that has happened to me today. Other than what I have already typed, I have been filling the 'nothing' with tumblr. I somehow forgot to mention that. Actually, that is all I have been doing for the past week, besides sleeping. I just ♥ tumblr!

ciao, lola

merry christmas eve!

2010-12-24T02:38:00.001-06:00

I should really be asleep right now. But since I have nothing to do tomorrow I might as well stay up. I think that I may even watch a movie while I wait for something awesome to happen to me. Though it's very unlikely that will happen, I will watch a movie anyway.

I don't wanna watch a Studio Ghibli film right now, even though I have been very interested in those lately. I feel that those movies are made for daytime. So that is when I will watch one. But for right now, I am thinking of randomly choosing a movie from Netflix and hoping for the best that I like it. Actually, nevermind. I am going to watch another season of Family Guy. Sounds fun, eh?

That's another thing. For as long as I allow myself to remember, I shall not only speak in a British accent, but also say the words that they say. It does sound odd, but if you think about it, Brits have very different words from what we have in America. For example: Panties=Knickers. I also want to start calling people 'love'. i would love for someone to call me that and since I do, I will call others that. Depending on who that person is, of course.

Well, off I go. I will surely be posting later on today. So yeah.
toodles,

lola

starting from scratch

2010-12-23T16:51:00.001-06:00

Over the past couple months or so, I have sort of neglected this blog. And it was beginning to show. So now, I am going to start over and give myself another try. I may just go back to my lazy ways and not post at all, but at least I will be able to say that I tried.

Anyway, during the rest of this week and next week I WILL post no matter what it takes. It will still be a personal blog, because there is no way I will be able to bottle up everything in my life anymore. So yeah.

Right now, I'm working on getting a better layout than before. Because before there was no way of contacting me other than the links I put on there. This time I tried not to steal someone else's layout because I'm pretty much known for that. But I don't think my innocent efforts are working.

See ya later,
lola